Showing posts with label seriously?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seriously?. Show all posts

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Love Hurts... and Sometimes Leaves Behind a Scar (or Twenty)

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 1:58 PM on 05th February 2009

A drunken fling ended in disaster for a man who woke up to find his lover's name carved into his arm.

Dominique Fisher, 22, used a Stanley knife to write her name on Wayne Robinson's upper arm.

She inflicted the injuries on the 24-year-old at her home in Blackburn, Lancashire.

Dominique Fisher

One-night stand gone awry: Wayne Fisher awoke to find Dominique Fisher had carved her name into his arm

Mr Robinson woke to find his body decorated with a star on his back, 'Dominique' written on his upper right arm, and numerous slash marks on his left arm and shoulder.

He told police he had drunk vodka and taken Valium and was not awake during the incident on the night of June 14 last year.

Mr Robinson said he panicked when he woke up and took a taxi back to his home in Fleetwood, Lancashire.

He said: 'I went to her place for sex, not to be tattoed. I can't believe she did this to me and I hate her.

Dominique Frances Fisher 
Wayne Robinson

Fisher was found guilty of unlawfully wounding Mr Robinson. She will be sentenced later this month

'When I woke I was covered in blood. Dominique was snoring. I just had to get out of there. I didn't even wake her to ask what she'd done.'

'I'm scarred for life,' he told The Sun. 'I wish I'd never met her.'

Fisher was found guilty of one charge of unlawful wounding at Preston Crown Court on Monday, following a two-day trial.

She will be sentenced on February 27 at Preston Crown Court.

Wayne Robinson's knife wounds 
Wayne Robinson's knife wounds

Aftermath: Fisher left Mr Robinson covered in knife wounds


Saturday, December 6, 2008

It's Shmeat, Shtupid!

Checkout Line: Meet shmeat

Test-tube flesh, coming soon to a hot dog near you

Posted by Lou Bendrick (Guest Contributor) at 4:45 AM on 05 Dec 2008

In Checkout Line, Lou Bendrick cooks up answers to reader questions about how to green their food choices and other diet-related quandaries. Lettuce know what food worries keep you up at night.

-----

Dear Lou,

I hear that PETA has come out in favor of the development of test-tube meat. What's up with that? I like to eat meat, and I try to be conscious about it -- but I can't tell if the prospect of test-tube meat should make me feel relieved or horrified.

Lisa

In the lab
Blinding meat with science!

Dear Lisa,

You heard right. Earlier this year, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals announced that it will offer a $1 million X Prize for the creation of affordable, humane, and "commercially viable" test-tube meat by 2012. This announcement, not at all surprisingly, piqued public curiosity (for starters, why is PETA endorsing anything with the word "meat" in it?).

I assure you that you are not alone in your ambivalence about test-tube meat. When I first read about test-tube meat, I experienced psychological delight at its humanitarian prospects coupled with a simultaneous gag reflex at the thought of actually eating it.

Test-tube meat is also known as in vitro meat, cultured meat, victimless meat, vat-grown meat, hydroponic meat, and, finally, shmeat. (Note to self: Be sure to apply for inevitable X Prize to rename this stuff.)

For now, let's call it shmeat.

Shmeat is grown from a cell culture (hence the in vitro or cultured prefixes), not from a live animal. These harvested cells are taken from an animal, such as a pig, and placed in a "nutrient-rich medium" that mimics blood. Once the cells multiply they are attached to a spongy scaffold or sheet (sheet + meat = shmeat) that has been soaked with nutrients and stretched to increase cell size and protein content.

This shmeat could, in theory, be harvested in vast quantities and used in minced meat products: burgers, nuggety things, or potted meat-food products, etc. While scientists (they call themselves "tissue engineers") admit that growing a pork chop with a bone without a real pig attached is not likely, the say also that affordable, palatable minced shmeat might be available at a grocery store near you within a decade.

To help you sort through your feelings, lie back on the couch while we take a look at some pros and cons of shmeat. (Most of these points are hypothetical, given that shmeat is in the experimental stages, but let's take a novel approach and think seriously about a possibly harrowing technological advance before it becomes a widespread reality. Just a thought!)

Shmeat pros:

Proponents of shmeat say it might:

• Help meet the protein needs of a growing and protein-hungry world. Factoid to lose sleep over: In 2050 the world's population will likely reach 9 billion.

Meanwhile, according to Jason Matheny, director of New Harvest, a nonprofit working to develop meat substitutes, "a single cell could theoretically produce the world's annual meat supply."

• Curtail the horrific animal suffering that comes with factory farming -- hence the PETA endorsement. Unless we come up with other solutions fast, factory farming will likely expand to feed our future's 9 billion people. To underscore the point that factory farming is a living hell, PETA created the video Meet Your Meat, narrated by that hunk of shmeef-cake, Alec Baldwin.

• Reduce the environmental impacts of factory farming (by eliminating or greatly reducing the farms themselves). These factories (it's wrong to call them farms) use an enormous amount of fossil fuels, cause lots of air and water pollution, and create vast clouds of greenhouse gases. "I actually think the carbon footprint of this will be around 10 percent of the carbon footprint of conventional meat," Matheny told me. But what about those industrial-scale bioreactors that will be needed to make this stuff? "The nice thing about those bioreactors is that most the energy from their operation comes from the biological processes themselves because things warm up when they're growing."

He added, "We could absolutely go without fossil fuels throughout the entire process and rely on solar energy or wind or geothermal or whatever."

• Be healthier for you. Tissue engineers (a renaming X Prize is desperately need for them, too) could manipulate shmeat's fat content or add Omega 3 fatty acids. Shmeat would also be free of the hormones, antibiotics, and diseases (salmonella, e-coli, Mad Cow, etc.) associated with CAFO meat.

• Be tasty. The yuck factor may be temporary and overblown. PETA co-founder and president Ingrid Newkirk told me that she attempted to serve vegetarian hot dogs at a baseball game in Virginia just 12 years ago. The baseball fans recoiled and reached for the real ones. "Do you know what's in a real hot dog?" she asked in disbelief. "Pigs anuses, bits of their inner snouts, nipples, tail, and fecal matter?" The point is that a food's acceptance is cultural. "So it's not really that there's a grossness factor [to test-tube meat]," she insists. "It's a visceral reaction to something new. A new generation will come along and not believe that generations before them actually ate the decomposing corpses of tortured animals."

• Be no less natural than, say, yogurt, cheese, or bread, which, according to a New Harvest FAQ, "all involve processing ingredients derived from natural sources. Arguably, the production of cultured meat is less unnatural than raising farm animals in intensive confinement systems, injecting them with synthetic hormones, and feeding them artificial diets made up of antibiotics and animal wastes."

Shmeat cons

In the other camp, skeptics say shmeat might:

• Be too yucky. What shmeat needs, in addition to more research and venture capital, is a market of willing eaters. Skeptics say that Americans, some permanently spooked by Soylent Green, won't eat it, especially in an era that is starting to embrace a local/organic/slow/artisanal food movement. When told that animals wouldn't suffer for shmeat, San Francisco chef and pastured-meat enthusiast Chris Cosentino replied, "Yeah, but my fuckin' taste buds will." He went on: "That meat? It's not meat. We're talking about something that could have serious long-term effects. They want Star Trek food. They want to push a button and have it drop out, shovel and fill their tanks, and move on. There's no enjoyment process of this. It's not going to taste like real food. Why not just put everything in a blender and put it into your arm with an IV?"

• Be a safety risk, given all of the unintended and unforeseen consequences of tinkering with nature. After all, "History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man." (To see who wrote these immortal words, go here.) And in the words of holistic farmer and author Joel Salatin -- whose farming practices were immortalized in Michael Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma -- "Even if we could make shmeat, how do we know that whatever we create is not going to become a technological master?" He also pointed out the unintended consequences of GMO foods. "As far as I know there is no genetically pure corn in the world because of pollen drift."

• Not be environmentally friendly. Because shmeat is still a dream (or, to skeptics, a nightmare), its environmental effects cannot be measured. New Harvest has commissioned a lifecycle analysis by Oxford University that will compare shmeat to conventional meat in terms of energy use. It's due out in February; stay tuned. In the meantime, Salatin says that his model of farming is humane, energy efficient, and can feed the world. "As we have demonstrated here on our farm, we can raise three times the beef per acre as any other farms in the whole region and we haven't used a bag of fertilizer in 50 years. What we're doing is going back to biomimicry," he says. "I will not back down for a moment to say that our model can't feed the world. I think that our model is the only one that can."

• Create yet more distance between humans and nature, which is arguably the reason that factory farming came about in the first place. Josh Viertel, president of Slow Food USA, believes that problems in our food system have arisen because of a gap between people who grow food and people who eat food. "The problems with cruelty to animals are born of that gap. I see this [shmeat] as a solution that just increases that gap. The root cause of the problem is that we're too far away from the way our food is grown. We don't have a connection to the people who grow it. We don't understand the story behind it. This is a technology that's just going to give more to companies and create a larger distance between us."

• Not be humane for animals. Scientists have yet to come up with a "nutrient-rich" solution that is both animal-free and economically feasible. Currently, this blood-like serum is made, at least by American scientists, from calf fetuses. The conundrum: European scientists have found a way to make veggie blood, but it's expensive. They can make it more cheaply, but the cheap veggie blood comes from bacterium that has been genetically altered, a marketing downer.

• Will pass through the FDA approval process without public input. The government waved through genetically modified foods without listening to public concern and has refused to require processors to label GMOs. Likewise, shmeat will ease into the food system, where it will be easily assimilated, not labeled, and minimally regulated. Result: You'll eat shmeat without even knowing it.

• Not be a health food. In all likelihood, shmeat will need additives and flavor enhancers to make it palatable. Also, it will be coming to us, at least at first, in the form of highly processed products. "Great, let's process more processed crap food to make fat kids?" asks Cosentino. "That's a fuckin' righteous brilliant idea. I don't get it."

• Be very gross to vegetarian purists because it is still derived from animals, and consumes tons of precious research money perpetuating what PETA calls a "meat addiction."

Phew! Lisa, I know this is a lot to, ahem, digest. Good luck sorting it out. My best guess is that shmeat, like it or not, will indeed come to a supermarket near you, and that it will become a part of the complex puzzle of feeding the planet. Although some of this is disturbing to think about, take heart in knowing that shmeat's most passionate defenders and detractors agree on this point: that factory farming must end.

"I think it's cool that [Ingrid Newkirk] doing that kind of activism," says Slow Food's Viertel. "But I think the next step is to find a positive solution that isn't gross."

Your source for interesting dinnertime conversation,
Lou

P.S. Pass the ketchup, would you?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

We're Not Talking Bout the Drink Here...

Dubai 'sex-on-beach' couple escape jail term

  • Story Highlights
  • The couple, Michelle Palmer and Vincent Acors, faced three-month sentence
  • The pair were arrested at a Dubai beach shortly after midnight on July 5
  • They were charged with with illicit relations, public indecency, public intoxication
  • Although a relatively moderate Gulf state, Dubai adheres to certain Islamic rules

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (CNN) -- A British couple convicted for having sex on a public beach in Dubai will not face jail after a judge suspended their prison sentences, their lawyer said Tuesday.

The couple, Michelle Palmer and Vincent Acors, had faced a three-month sentence, but they were freed on bail in October pending an appeal.

Hassan Mattar, one of their lawyers, said he was trying to get permission for Palmer -- who worked in Dubai -- to stay in the United Arab Emirates, and for Acors to travel back to Britain. Acors had been on a business trip to Dubai when he was arrested.

The United Arab Emirates, where Dubai is located, is home to thousands of expatriates and is among the most moderate Gulf states. Still, the oil-rich kingdom adheres to certain Islamic rules.

Palmer and Acors were arrested on a public beach shortly after midnight on July 5. Police charged them with illicit relations, public indecency, and public intoxication. A court found them guilty in October and fined them 1,000 dirhams ($367) for the charge of public indecency.

Both denied they had intercourse. And during the trial, Mattar argued that the public prosecutor failed to produce corroborative evidence against his clients on the first two charges, though he said both tested positive for liquor.

More than a million British visitors traveled to the UAE in 2006, and more than 100,000 British nationals live there, according to the British Foreign Office.

The country is in the midst of a building boom to position itself as one of the world's premier tourist destinations.

It is already home to the world's largest mall, the world's largest tower, and -- despite being in the Middle East -- the largest indoor snow park in the world.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sounds Like Our Kind of Thief...

Fine wine and hugs turn robber into party guest
It's a good thing it wasn't cheap plonk. The last guests at the barbecue in the Capitol Hill neighbourhood of Washington were savouring the remains of a very fine bottle of Chateau Malescot St Exupery when a robber appeared in their midst, and held a gun to the head of a teenage girl.

"He said: 'Everyone give me your money or I am going to start shooting. I am very serious about this'," Michael Rabdau, the girl's father, told the Guardian.

By that point in the evening only close friends were still left in the garden of the home, 13 city blocks from the great white dome of the US Capitol. Nobody saw the intruder slip in through the gate, which the homeowner had left ajar while he took his dog for a walk.

"He was like a shark. No one saw him coming," Mr Rabdau said.

The intruder, who had a hood pulled over his face, first levelled his gun at the head of Mr Rabdau's daughter, Khyber, 14, and demanded money.

When she said she had none, he moved towards the other guests, handgun drawn. In the following minutes, the terrified party guests tried to calm the robber.

After what seemed an eternity, another guest offered the robber a sip of the bordeaux they were drinking. "He tasted the wine, and said: 'Damn, that's really good wine.' And it really was," Mr Rabdau said. The guests offered him a glass, and then the entire bottle. The would-be robber helped then himself to a piece of camembert.

He put the gun away, and told the guests: "I think I must have come to the wrong house," and told them he was sorry. He asked for a hug, and each of the guests gave him a squeeze.

The robber then asked for a group hug, and the party guests formed a circle to embrace him. The robber then poured himself a full glass of wine and let himself out.

By the time the stunned party guests summoned the courage to go indoors and telephone the police, the robber was long gone. But nothing had been stolen, and nobody had been hurt.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sarah Palin: The Dan Qualye of Our Generation

Palin, A Journalism Major, Can't Name A News Source She Reads

Sarah Palin said she does not support the morning after pill as a form of contraception, strongly implied that homosexuality was a choice, and could not name a single source of news that she turns to for information, in yet another installment of her interview series with Katie Couric.

Appearing on CBS Evening News, the Alaska Governor seemed calmer than she had been in previous sit downs. But while she only occasionally provided the type of befuddled responses that had even conservatives scratching their heads, her interview was nevertheless shaky.

Asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, Palin - a journalism major in college - could not name one publication.

"I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media," she said at first. Couric responded, "What, specifically?"

"Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years."

"Can you name a few?"

"I have a vast variety of source where we get our news," Palin said. "Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, 'wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?' Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America."

Later, when pressed on a variety of cultural issues, Palin provided red meat for religious conservatives. But her answers seemed to fall on the far edge of mainstream political thought. She said she was "unapologetically" pro-life when asked if she opposed abortion even for a 15-year-old raped by her father.

"[I would] counsel that person to choose life despite the horrific, horrific circumstances," she said, before moderating her position a bit: "If you're asking, though, kind of foundationally here, should anyone end up in jail for having an ... abortion, absolutely not. That's nothing I would ever support."

Asked whether she believed that the morning after pill should be outlawed, Palin did not directly address the question, saying only: "Personally, and this isn't a McCain-Palin policy, I would not choose to participate in that kind of contraception."

And quizzed about her position on gay-rights, Palin cited a homosexual friend whom she is close with before noting that she "made a choice" about her sexuality.

"I have," she said, "one of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years who happens to be gay and I love her dearly. And she is not my gay friend. She is one of my best friends who happens to have made a choice that isn't a choice that I would have made."

These positions may, in the long run, endear Palin even more to her conservative following. But combined with her failure to name a source of news she turns to, they are also bound to have people buzzing up through Thursday night's vice presidential debate.

Watch the interview below!


Sunday, September 21, 2008

This Just In: All Bullies Ordered to Back Off Palin in the Schoolyard

What a bunch of bullshit. Palin, why don't you grow a pair and step up. If you really want to be Vice President of the most powerful country in the world, perhaps you should have a little debate experience... and if you don't, then perhaps this job isn't for you.

September 21, 2008

Pact on Debates Will Let McCain and Obama Spar

The Obama and McCain campaigns have agreed to an unusual free-flowing format for the three televised presidential debates, which begin Friday, but the McCain camp fought for and won a much more structured approach for the questioning at the vice-presidential debate, advisers to both campaigns said Saturday.

At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.

McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive.

The wrangling was chiefly between the McCain-Palin camp and the nonpartisan Commission on Presidential Debates, which is sponsoring the forums.

Commission members wanted a relaxed format that included time for unpredictable questioning and challenges between the two vice-presidential candidates. On Wednesday, the commission unanimously rejected a proposal sought by advisers to Ms. Palin and Senator John McCain of Arizona, the Republican presidential nominee, to have the moderator ask questions and the candidates answer, with no time for unfettered exchanges. Advisers to Mr. Biden say they were comfortable with either format.

Both campaigns see the four debates as pivotal moments in a presidential race that is not only extraordinarily close but also drawing intense interest from voters; roughly 40 million viewers watched the major speeches at the two parties’ conventions. The upheaval in the financial markets has recast the race in recent days, moreover, which both sides believe will only heighten attention for the debates.

A commission member said that the new agreement on the vice-presidential debate was reached late Saturday morning. It calls for shorter blocks of candidate statements and open discussion than at the presidential debates.

McCain advisers said they were only somewhat concerned about Ms. Palin’s debating skills compared with those of Mr. Biden, who has served six terms in the Senate, or about his chances of tripping her up. Instead, they say, they wanted Ms. Palin to have opportunities to present Mr. McCain’s positions, rather than spending time talking about her experience or playing defense.

While the debates between presidential nominees are traditionally the main events in the fall election season, the public interest in Ms. Palin has proved extraordinary, and a large audience is expected for her national debate debut.

Indeed, both the McCain and Obama campaigns have similar concerns about the vice-presidential matchup in St. Louis: that Ms. Palin, of Alaska, as a new player in national politics, or Mr. Biden, of Delaware, as a loquacious and gaffe-prone speaker, could commit a momentum-changing misstep in their debate.

The negotiations for the three 90-minute debates between the men at the top of the tickets were largely free of brinksmanship. Neither side threatened to pull out, and concerns about camera angles and stagecraft were minor.

Senator Barack Obama of Illinois, the Democratic nominee for president, and Mr. McCain did not intercede personally to settle any disputes. They agreed to one substantive change to the format originally proposed by the debate commission, giving them two minutes apiece to make a statement at the beginning of each segment on a new topic.

Mr. Obama successfully sought to flip the proposed topics for the first and third debates, so foreign policy is now coming first and economic and other domestic issues come last. There is a second debate, in the format of a town hall meeting, in which the candidates will sit on director’s chairs and take questions from the audience and Internet users on any topic.

The debate commission had proposed that the first debate be on economic issues and the third on foreign policy — in part, people involved in the process said, because the first debate is usually the most watched, and many voters rank the economy as their top concern.

Mr. Obama wanted foreign policy first to show viewers that he could provide depth, strength and intelligence on those issues, his advisers said, given that Mr. McCain consistently wins higher ratings in opinion polls as a potential commander in chief.

Mr. Obama wanted domestic issues to come last; advisers said that they believed even before the start of the financial crisis that the election was most likely to turn on the state of the economy and that he wanted the final televised exchange to focus on those concerns. He has argued that Mr. McCain would continue the economic policies of President Bush.

Mr. McCain also wanted foreign policy topics to come first in the debates, his aides said, in the hope of capitalizing on his positive reputation on national security issues across party lines.

He wanted limits on the original format for the first and third debates, which had been nine topics with nine minutes of free-flowing debate on each one. Mr. Obama went along, though his aides did insist that at least several minutes of open-ended debate occur in each block of questioning, because they believe he does well in that format.

Now the candidates will be asked a question, each will give an answer of two minutes or less, and then they will mix it up for five additional minutes before moving on to the next question in the same format.

Obama aides also agreed to use lecterns at the first event, which Mr. McCain preferred; at the third debate, the two men will be seated at a round table, in the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock positions, with the moderator at 6 o’clock.

McCain aides said that they were conscious of the fact that Mr. McCain has a prominent scar on one side of his face, and that they could not predict how prominent it would appear with the camera angles, lighting and make-up.

The debate formats were negotiated by Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina, representing the McCain campaign, and Representative Rahm Emanuel, Democrat of Illinois, for the Obama camp. A handful of aides from both camps were also involved, hammering out issues between themselves and then holding conference calls with members of the commission to reach final agreements, people involved in the process said.

Mr. Obama plans to begin debate camp on Tuesday with a tight circle of advisers at a site in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, his aides say, with a prominent Democratic lawyer, Greg Craig, playing the part of Mr. McCain in mock debates.

The Obama campaign has been studying Mr. McCain’s debate performances from the Republican primary as well as in his 2000 race for president. Each debate has been rated and scored, with briefing points and highlights sent to Mr. Obama.

Mr. Obama’s advisers have been studying in particular Mr. McCain’s temperament and mood and looking for potential flash points of anger.

Mr. McCain, his advisers say, has yet to spend much time watching the dozens of primary debate performances of Mr. Obama over the last two years. But they said that a small staff of aides had been reviewing them and that Mr. McCain would see some highlights next week.

McCain aides refused to say when his debate camp would be or where, or who was playing Mr. Obama or Mr. Biden. (Gov. Jennifer M. Granholm, Democrat of Michigan, is playing Ms. Palin for Mr. Biden’s preparations.)

Mr. Obama plans to sequester himself and a few advisers at his debate camp. The attendance is limited to a small group of foreign policy advisers, each rotating in for separate sessions with Mr. Obama and Mr. Craig.

The choice of Florida, particularly the politically critical region near Tampa, was selected with a dual purpose in mind. While Mr. Obama will have few public events from Tuesday through Friday, aides said, his presence could draw considerable local news media attention in a state where he hopes to fiercely challenge Mr. McCain.

While the intense portion of debate training begins on Tuesday, Mr. Obama has been preparing for weeks, in part by drawing upon his experience debating Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York in the Democratic primaries. His aides have been studying those debate performances to address one of his biggest shortcomings: his ability to deliver a tight answer. Already, his campaign is trying to diminish expectations for Mr. Obama’s performance.

“Despite the fact that we got the chance to do this a lot during the primaries, these debates are not by any stretch of the imagination his strong suit,” said Robert Gibbs, a senior strategist to Mr. Obama. “He likes to talk about a problem, give some examples that addresses some solutions and oftentimes that doesn’t fit into the moderator’s allotted time.”

The campaigns had no say over the choice of moderators — Jim Lehrer of PBS, Tom Brokaw of NBC and Bob Schieffer of CBS for the presidential debates, and Gwen Ifill of PBS for the vice-presidential debate.

“Everything matters and issues can always come up, such as the size of podiums — like for Carter and Ford in 1976 — to the timer lights if the candidate doesn’t like them,” said Tad Devine, a Democratic strategist who advised Al Gore in 2000 and John Kerry in 2004. “There hasn’t really been a ‘debate about the debates’ this year, but that can change in a minute.”

Jeff Zeleny contributed reporting from Miami.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Our Little Boy is Growing Up

Hey McFly: Tommy McFly of Mix 107.3 and Improv 5-6-7-8
Photo by: Aaron Clamage
Mix 107.3's Tommy McFly is one of the hottest radio personalities around.
written by
Marlene Hall
Local radio personality Tommy McFly lives by Abraham Lincoln’s adage that “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

If that’s the case, 22-year-old McFly should be about 80.

McFly recently sat down with On Tap at Murky Coffee in Arlington to discuss his varied talents, interests and experiences, ranging from being a radio disc jockey on a top-rated radio show to mixing mojitos to being a key member in a local improv troupe.

McFly is originally from Scranton, PA, and is an only child, or as he puts it, “God only gives you what you can handle.” At the age of 15, he got his start at the radio station Froggy 101 in Scranton.

“A friend of our family who worked at the radio station said, ‘When you turn 15, I’m going to get you a job,’” said McFly. “So I turned 15 and I called him every day for three months until he finally got me an interview with the program director . . . I started out actually wearing the Mr. Froggy suit at events and things like that.”

Eventually, McFly was able to persuade the boss to give him his own show on overnights, which eventually lead to co-hosting the morning show.

One of McFly’s most memorable gigs happened off the air. While working at Froggy, he helped a flooded Pennsylvania town, upstaging the Red Cross by soliciting supplies first.

“We ran to Sam’s Club and bought supplies and rented a U-Haul,” said McFly. “We had an army of volunteers, took a caravan to Bloomsburg, and we shoveled out an entire neighborhood. It was awesome, unbelievable.”

McFly also sent the hit TV show “The Office,” based in Scranton, tons of Scranton paraphernalia, including Froggy 101 bumper stickers. The bumper stickers are displayed prominently in Dwight’s cubicle on the show.

When his contract at Froggy ended, McFly started fielding offers in major cities like San Diego, Atlanta and Dallas. D.C.’s own Jack Diamond came calling, asking him to join his longtime show, “The Jack Diamond Morning Show,” on Mix 107.3. McFly joined the team at the age of 20.

“I’m the young, kind of naïve, metrosexual trying to make my way in the city, learning about life, learning about myself, just starting out, and kind of a smartass,” McFly said in describing his role.

Some of the perks of working for the “Jack Diamond Morning Show” include: hanging out with Duran Duran, being called “hot” by Tyra Banks, taking a trip with loyal listeners to Iceland, interviewing Vanessa Williams and Marcia Cross, and attending exclusive parties.

He usually hits about four parties per week and still manages to get up at 4 a.m. every morning. As for any groupies, “No, unfortunately, I wish, but here is hoping.”

McFly’s dream girl is Meghan McCain, daughter of presidential candidate John McCain, and his dream guest is Carrie Underwood. McFly saw her perform at a showcase in NYC and was sitting in the front row while she was performing the song “Before He Cheats.” During the line “thinking he is going to get lucky,” he claims she winked at him.

McFly not only stays busy as a radio DJ, but also lends his talents to the improv troupe 5-6-7-8. He got involved in improv to meet people as he had “just moved from a small town in Pennsylvania, just broken up with his girlfriend, you know, a basic country song,” as he describes it. He loves performing improv because he “will do anything for a laugh, and you never know what will happen next.” 5-6-7-8 sold out their first four shows at the DC Improv, and the group has additional shows scheduled in August and September.

In his spare time, McFly partakes in bartending classes and fixes a mean Mike Collins Jameson Sour Mix Club Soda, or Vodka Mojito, joking that he is ‘“trying to be trendy and difficult.”

McFly also dispenses some advice about what to do in D.C., which he describes as young and vibrant. He recommends bike riding the city, seeing the monuments at night; and visiting the Spy Museum, the Newseum and the National Museum of Crime and Punishment.

For more info on the various lives of Tommy McFly:
Mix 107.3, visit www.mix1073fm.com
Improv Troupe 5-6-7-8, www.5678improv.com


Improv Troupe 5-6-7-8’s “Things That Happen In Attics”
Friday, Aug. 22, 8 p.m.
Saturday, Aug. 23, 7:30 p.m.
At the Comedy Spot (Ballston Common Mall)
4238 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, VA

Improv Troupe 5-6-7-8 Benefit Performance for Luke’s Wings
Saturday, September 13, 7 p.m.
Bethesda Theater: 7719 Wisconsin Ave, Bethesda, MD
Info: www.lukeswings.org

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Get A Clue...Mr. Body is So Out!

I love the classic game of clue. Summer hours zipped by as the Richer Sleuths (that includes you Aly) would sit around speculating Ms. Scarlett's plot to kill Mr. Body with the wrench in the study while Col. Mustard slipped through the kitchen's secret entrance across the house.

But apparently that test of logic isn't flashy enough for this generation...so they released clue on steroids! Introducing Clue...Millennial Edition.

Some noteworthy changes: Ms. Scarlet is now Kassandra, Colonel Mustard is now Jack, Plum is now Victor a billionaire video game designer among others, "There’s no Revolver or Billiard Room this time… but could it have been Scarlet with the Barbell in the Spa? Open up the tabloid-style instructions to get the scoop on the updated rooms, weapons, and guests. A deck of Intrigue Cards adds suspense to your game with cards that can help you solve the crime faster… or result in a second victim! Narrow down which rumors are true and which are just hearsay—and get caught up in the scandal of the century!"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dylan Drama 2.0

There has been another attack on an innocent, this time they were playing with their Wii. Sources have confirmed that the aggressor in this incident is not, in fact, Dylan (as originally suspected).

Check out the evidence for yourself.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

What an Extraordinary Pig

Piglet with monkey's face

Villagers were shocked after a monkey-like piglet was born in China.

Mutant pig /Quirky China News
Mutant pig

Curious locals flocked to the home of owner Feng Changlin after news of the piglet spread in Fengzhang village, Xiping township.

"It's hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today.

He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.

Feng's wife said the monkey-faced piglet was one of five newborns of a sow which the family had raised for nine years.

"My God, it was so scary. I didn't known what it was. I was really frightened," she said.

"But our son likes to play with it, and he stopped us from getting rid of it. He even feeds it milk."

Neighbours have suggested the couple keep the piglet to see how it looks as it matures.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Day the Spokesman Died...

Former White House spokesman Tony Snow dies

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former White House press secretary Tony Snow -- who once told reporters "I'm a very lucky guy" -- died at the age of 53 early Saturday after a second battle with cancer.

Snow, who had been undergoing chemotherapy treatments for a recurrence of the disease, left his White House job September 14, 2007, and joined CNN in April as a conservative commentator.

President Bush said Saturday that he and first lady Laura Bush were "deeply saddened" by Snow's death.

"The Snow family has lost a beloved husband and father. And America has lost a devoted public servant and a man of character," the president said in a statement.

"It was a joy to watch Tony at the podium each day."

Snow's successor, White House press secretary Dana Perino, said, "The White House is so deeply saddened by this loss. He was a great friend and colleague and a fantastic press secretary. And his dear family is in our thoughts and prayers."

In 2007, Chief of Staff Josh Bolten had told senior White House staffers that unless they could commit to staying until Bush leaves office in January 2009, they should leave by Labor Day 2007, so Snow resigned.

In parting comments to reporters at his final White House news conference, Snow said, "I feel great."

He also called the job "the most fun I've ever had."

Snow said he was leaving the White House position to make more money for his family. His White House salary was $168,000.

Snow was first diagnosed with colon cancer in February 2005. His colon was removed, and after six months of treatment, doctors said the cancer was in remission.

A recurrence of the illness was diagnosed 11 months after he began the White House media job, and he underwent five weeks of treatment before resuming his daily briefings to the press corps. He was greeted with applause upon his return.

"Not everybody will survive cancer," Snow told the reporters, "but on the other hand, you have got to realize you've got the gift of life, so make the most of it. That is my view, and I'm going to make the most of my time with you."

Perino announced March 27, 2007, that Snow's cancer had recurred, and said doctors had removed a growth from his abdomen the day before.

Bush tapped Snow to replace Scott McClellan in April 2006.

Snow had been an anchor for "Fox News Sunday" and a political analyst for Fox News Channel, which he joined in 1996. He also hosted "The Tony Snow Show" on Fox News Radio.

Snow took a significant pay cut to take the job of press secretary and talked publicly about the financial sacrifices he made. He explained he felt he needed to make more money to help his family, which included children readying for college.

Snow was known for his candor.

In a November 11, 2005, column, Snow wrote that Bush's "wavering conservatism has become an active concern among Republicans, who wish he would stop cowering under the bed and start fighting back against the likes of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Wilson."

"The newly passive George Bush has become something of an embarrassment," Snow's column said.

"I asked him about those comments," joked the president at the time of Snow's appointment. "And he said, 'You should have heard what I said about the other guy.'"

Bush said Snow's long career as a journalist helped him understand "the importance of the relationship between government and those whose job it is to cover the government."

Robert Anthony Snow was born June 1, 1955, in Berea, Kentucky, and was raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. When he was 17, his mother died of colon cancer. She was 38.

After receiving a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Davidson College near Charlotte, North Carolina, in 1977, Snow pursued graduate work in philosophy and economics at the University of Chicago.

He worked as an editorial writer and editor at several newspapers, including The Washington Times and the Detroit News. He wrote a column in Detroit, and later wrote a syndicated column.

Snow joined the administration of Bush's father, George H.W. Bush, in 1991, first as chief speech writer and later as deputy assistant to the president for media affairs.

Snow became a television personality when he launched his news shows on Fox in 1993.

When he returned to work April 30, 2007, after the second cancer diagnosis, a usually articulate and loquacious Snow stumbled to find words.

"You never anticipate this stuff," he said. "It just happens."

"I want to thank you all. It really meant the world to me. Anybody who does not not believe that thoughts and prayers make a difference, they're just wrong."

He then prefaced a discussion of his health by saying, "I'm a very lucky guy."

Outside of work, Snow played the guitar, saxophone and flute, and was in a band called Beats Workin' with other Washington professionals.

Snow is survived by his wife, Jill Walker, and three children.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sex: The Bible Says Do It

And God Said, "Just Do It."


By DAVID VAN BIEMA
Genesis, 
chapter 2 verse 24, says a man "shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." But how liberally to define cleave? That was the very special Bible query the Rev. Stacy Spencer and his wife Rhonda took up last month with 252 married people at their New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tenn. And the Spencers' answer was ... encouraging. Does frequent sex have a place in marriage? Yep. Oral sex? Read the Song of Solomon 2: 3 for assurance. How about role-playing? One participant expressed a yearning to see her husband dressed as a police officer. The Good Book offers no specifics on that, so Stacy Spencer allowed that it was up to the woman, "as long as you're not lusting after a particular officer. Jesus talked about spiritual adultery, and that could be spiritual adultery. But if it's just a generic cop, go for it."

Superior sex can be difficult for some couples to discuss with each other, let alone with their pastor. But having taken on almost every other aspect of their congregants' lives, churches oriented toward young adults and Gen Xers have begun promoting not just better sex, but more of it. Well, not just promoting it but penciling it in. When New Direction launched its "40 Nights of Grrreat Sex" program, the Spencers gave participants daily planners. A typical week is marked "Sun: Worship together"; "Mon: Give your wife a full body massage"; "Tues: Quickie in any room besides the bedroom"; "Wed: Pleasure your partner"; "Thurs: Read 1 Corinthians 7--How can I please you more?"; and so on.

New Direction is not the only church promoting a frequent-sex regimen. In February, Paul Wirth, pastor of the Relevant Church in Tampa, Fla., issued what he called "The 30-Day Sex Challenge." The program featured an extensive questionnaire, a Bible verse a day and the assumption that participants would engage in some kind of sex each night. Wirth says he has received calls from eight pastors asking about his program's guidelines. A megachurch in Texas, the Fellowship of the Woodlands, holds semiannual Sacred Sex Weekends ("Learn how you can experience a fulfilling sex life with God's blessing").

Scheduling time for sex appears to be in vogue, and not just among believers. In June, couples in Colorado and North Carolina published books detailing their postnuptial attempts to have sex 101 and 365 days in a row, respectively. But the issue takes on added urgency among conservative Christians, who have just as high a divorce rate as the country at large but theoretically take the till-death-do-us-part aspect of marriage as a faith obligation. When it comes to sex, Wirth contends, many are thinking, "If this doesn't get better, it's gonna be a really sucky life."

"My own marriage was in trouble 10 years ago," he says, but it was reinvigorated with the help of His Needs, Her Needs by clinical psychologist Willard Harley. Wirth eventually contacted Harley and got permission to use the book for his church program. Meanwhile, at New Direction, Spencer discovered John Gray's Mars and Venus in the Bedroom and Getting the Sex You Want by Tammy Nelson.

Their congregations differ in some ways--New Direction, a Disciples of Christ church, is mostly African--American; Relevant is nondenominational and mostly white--but both flocks fall into the 20-to-40 age group, as do their pastors. Along with their wives, the preachers developed programs involving large-scale, coed seminars and a save-that-month schedule; the Spencers also set up a blog so users can post questions anonymously. Both couples emphasized the spiritual, emotional and, yes, practical aspects of having better sex more often. For instance, a husband can expect smoother sailing at night if he helps his wife clear her "to do" list that evening, Spencer said in a conference call with his wife, who added, "Otherwise he's just another thing on that list."

Protestant history has included periods of enthusiastic talk about sex, as well as chilly silence. A famous 1623 Puritan sermon made the case for "mutual [conjugal] dalliances for pleasure's sake," presumably as a distinction from Roman Catholicism's procreation-only rule. In the 1970s, several conservative Christian leaders responded to the popularity of Alex Comfort's classic how-to The Joy of Sex by reminding their flocks that whoopee for whoopee's sake was not doctrinally prohibited; Focus on the Family founder James Dobson and Left Behind co-author Tim LaHaye each put out manuals for married couples.

Still, these new calendrical sexhortations have their critics. Lauren Sandler, feminist and author of Righteous: Dispatches from the Evangelical Youth Movement, suspects they are "another way of becoming the best Christian wife--to have tons of orgasms so their husbands can go to church the next day and tell people how they really made Jesus proud in the sack." Todd Friel, host of the syndicated radio show Way of the Master, says sexual intimacy was created as a taste of what it's like to be in a "right relationship" with God. "That's amazing, and it's a little different than 'Come and improve your sex life in a 30-day challenge,'" he says. But some participants find meaning in the programs. "After more than 20 yrs of marriage, this has been 'a shot in the arm,'" one New Direction congregant wrote on the Spencers' blog. "In the past month we have been to Victoria's Secret 4 times (the secret is out!!). Thanks Pastor and 1st Lady for your openness, and obediences to God."

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Nothing Good Ever Happens After Midnight

As the old adage goes, nothing good ever happens after midnight... and last night was no exception.  You might have heard through the grapevine that when I arrived home yesterday evening (or this morning, however you want to call it) I discovered that I was sans apartment keys.  This obviously did not make Katie happy... and the gentleman at the front desk (yes, that same one who greeted me when I arrived home at 6am on Saturday) did not have access to the master key to let me in.  Oh boy, is right... I couldn't be let into my apartment until 7am.  As much as I appreciated the offer from Lindsey to sleep over, I was just too yuckied out to do that.  So what does Katie do?  Yeah, she breaks in.  It scares me how easy that was... but hey, I got in!

Anyway, just don't forget that NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Wait, We Have a BLOG?!?!

I obviously don't watch the show, but this is for my girls...

Nussbaum: Why ‘Lost’ Is the Best Game Show in TV History

lost the game

Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Courtesy of ABC; iStockphoto

Elsewhere in Vulture's Lost finale coverage:
‘Lost’ Season-Finale Recap: A Real Humdinger!
Vulture’s Exclusive Season-Five Preview
Who Called Kate on the Phone?
What Is Octagon Global Recruiting?
Was That the Psychic?
See the Alternate Endings

Hasn't Lost been great this season? Thrilling, funny, sexy, shocking! After the crisis of last season, when the show risked losing an audience frustrated with all the unanswered questions, it's impressive to see its creators unfold its plot so skillfully. Just imagine facing the angry, sweaty, paranoiac pressure from Lost's vocal fan base: All those snarky recaps, all those wails of shark-jumping, all those slash montages of Sayid cheating on Michael with Desmond! It's got to feel a bit like brainstorming episodes naked, onstage, at a Trek convention.

And yet, the writers keep upping the ante. Their brassiest move came in the finale of last season, when they effectively blew out the front door of their own narrative spaceship, revealing — in that eerie final sequence when Kate and Jack met at an airplane hangar — that what we'd thought was a flashback was actually a flash-forward. It was the equivalent of a perfect arabesque; like they were showing off how much power they have over us.

The flash-forward was one of those splashy TV moments, like Kimberly pulling off her wig in Melrose Place. But it's paid off as more than just a gimmick.

That single shift flipped the Lost game board out fifteen squares in each direction. It expanded the show's setting from the island to the world. It raised the level of narrative difficulty, both for the writers and for the fans, pivoting elegantly away from "Will these people get off the island?" and complicating the whole notion of "What will happen next?" (And I'm not even getting into the whole time-travel thing.)

But best of all, it made the show's appeal weirdly clear: that this is as much a game as a story. It's no surprise I find myself talking about the level of difficulty; it feels very much like we're leveling up. My husband, who is a video-game critic, pointed out that Lost online commentary often feels less like a response to a story and more like the way fans deconstruct an ARG, an alternative reality game, participating in communal puzzle-solving and focusing obsessively on tiny details. Some of this is deliberate, of course. Lost has had its own video game and ARGs (The Lost Experience and Find 815); co-creator Damon Lindelof has talked about the influence of Myst. But it was a little bit of a shock to me, a traditional narrative nerd, to realize that what was kicking my ass was the game play, not the deep thoughts.

Because Lost is a brilliant TV show, but it's not brilliant the way our culture usually defines that quality — it's not "Dickensian." It's thought-provoking, but the themes are not always complex; with a few exceptions (for me, Locke and Ben), it has compelling characters, but they have motivations, not true inner lives. Yet if there's one thing this excellent season has demonstrated, it's that a TV show doesn't have to be like a literary novel to be genuinely ambitious. Lost feels a bit like a detective story and a lot like a comic book, but even more like a video game, with some of the pleasures of sci-fi, and definite aspects of a magic show. It's a new kind of tour de force.

Its tricks are tricks of puzzle and chronology — showman's tricks, rhythmic revelations that can lead to real emotional release (Penny and Desmond's phone call at last!) but are more centrally about the mathematical shock of watching two elements slip into unexpected relationship (like the realization that Desmond's "incident" is what caused the plane to crash). The series has always rewarded near-schizophrenic levels of pattern recognition, to such an extent that it can distort my other TV watching (does anyone else watch The Wire expecting license-plate numbers to reveal hidden clues?). But the most original aspect to Lost is the sure-handed way its creators have dovetailed the satisfactions of a story with the payoffs of a game.

And maybe this isn't just a coincidence. After all, board games have taken up a striking amount of space this season. There's Locke with his backgammon; there's Hurley's Connect Four; there was that suggestive, meta-conversation over a game of Risk. And Ben did complain mysteriously about Widmore's "changing the rules": Could the whole thing be a game? Excuse me, I'm off to consult Lostpedia and figure it all out before the finale… —Emily Nussbaum

Sunday, May 4, 2008

If You Can't Handle the Heat, Get the Fuck Out of the Kitchen

Ivy League Prof Sues Students For Being Mean to Her

venkatesan.pngA Dartmouth lecturer is suing her class for discrimination, as she revealed in a series of regrettable and bizarre emails that promptly ended up all over Dartmouth blogs. Priya Venkatesan (Dartmouth '90, MS in Genetics, PhD in literature) emailed members of her Winter '08 Writing 5 class Saturday night to announce her intention to seek damages from them for their being mean to her. The email, and so, so much more, below:

Date: Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:56:35
From: Priya Venkatesan
Subject: WRIT.005.17.18-WI08: Possible lawsuit

Dear former class members of Science, Technology and Society:

I tried to send an email through my server but got undelivered messages. I regret to inform you that I am pursuing a lawsuit in which I am accusing some of you (whom shall go unmentioned in this email) of violating Title VII of anti-federal discrimination laws.

The feeling that I am getting from the outside world is that Dartmouth is considered a bigoted place, so this may not be news and I may be successful in this lawsuit. I am also writing a book detailing my eperiences as your instructor, which will "name names" so to speak. I have all of your evaluation and these will be reproduced in the book.

Have a nice day.

Anti-federal discrimination laws? That's serious business. Or whatever the exact opposite of serious business is.

The details of the discrimination and harassment? Students didn't pay attention to her, complained about her to her boss, and accused her of not "accepting opinions contrary to her own" and said she would "lower the grades of students her disagreed with her." In other words, the exact smarmy complaints all entitled college students level against inexperienced teachers.

From the Dartmouth News:

As an example of Venkatesan's rejection of views different from her own, the student highlighted Venkatesan's cancelation of class for a week after the class applauded a student who contradicted Venkatesan's opinions about post-modernism.

Venkatesan said the incident occurred when she was lecturing about "The Death of Nature," a book by Carolyne Merchant, and the witch trials of the Renaissance. The student went on a "diatribe" about the inappropriate nature of challenging patriarchal authority, Venkatesan said. Vakatesan respected the student's right to express this opinion, she said, but the manner in which he vocalized his views and the applause afterward were disrespectful and offensive.

"I was horrified," Venkatesan said. "My responsibility is not to stifle them, but when they clapped at his comment, I thought that crossed the line ... I was facing intolerance of ideas and intolerance of freedom of expression."

She was horrified! Horrified that an Ivy League undergrad bitched about hearing some academic nonsense about the entrenched power structures that got them where they are today! (No winners in this story, folks.)

The emails apparently started last Friday, when Venkatesan emailed seven or more students to warn of a "possible lawsuit" against them.

From: Priya Venkatesan
Sent: Friday, April 25, 2008
Subject: Class Action Suit

Dear Student:

As a courtesy, you are being notified that you are being named in a potential class action suit that is being brought against Dartmouth College, which is being accused of violating federal anti-discrimination laws. Please do not respond to this email because it will be potentially used against you in a court of law.

Priya Venkatesan, PhD
From: Priya Venkatesan
Sent: Friday, April 25, 2008
Subject: Class Action Suit

Dear Student:

Please disregard the previous email sent by Priya Venkatesan. This is to officially inform you that you are being accused of violating Title VII pertaining to federal anti-discrimination laws, by the plaintiff, Priya Venkatesan. You are being specifically accused of, but not limited to, harassment. Please do not respond to this email as it will be used against you in a court of law.

Priya Venkatesan, PhD

In a statement to Dartblog, Venkatesan reveals that she's retained an attorney from New Hampshire, and that she has absolutely no clue what a class-action suit is or how it works.

The students I am naming in this suit were mostly from Winter 08 term with a few from Fall. Essentially, I am pursuing litigation to see if I have a legal claim, that is, if the inappropriate and unprofessional behavior I was subjected to as a Research Associate and Lecturer at Dartmouth constitutes discrimination and harrassment [sic] on the basis of ethnicity, race and gender. This includes not just students, but a few faculty members that I worked with.

Possibly on the advice of her lawyer, Venkatesan is now making it more clear that she's suing Dartmouth for harassment by her superior in the writing program, but she won't let go of her brilliant idea to also sue the students who didn't like her very much.

According to her Dartmouth bio, Venkatesan's "current position is as Postdoctoral Fellow in the Department of Medicine at Dartmouth Medical School, which will form the basis of [her] latest manuscript, A Postmodernist in the Laboratory." We can't believe her bio leaves out the fact that this manuscript will "name names" (so to speak).

Putting the "Class" in Class Action. Also, the "Ligitious and Passive-Aggressive Book-Peddler" in Professor. [IvyGate]

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Only the Best On Craigslist...

to the guy doing my wife

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
  1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
  2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
  3. I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.  If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
  4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?
  5. After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
  6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.
  7. Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
  8. When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
  9. Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
  10. Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Monday, April 14, 2008

What Do Elmore City, Oklahoma, and Washington, DC, Have In Common?

NO DANCING!!!!!

So About That Tree of Liberty…

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

1jeffersonarrest.jpg

Tonight, a group of about 20 D.C.-area libertarians headed down to the Thomas Jefferson Memorial for some flash mob fun. The prank was harmless revelry: To ring in Jefferson’s birthday, we would meet on the steps of the memorial at 11:55pm, wearing iPods, then dance for about 10 minutes, capture the whole thing on video, and leave.

Courtney and I were about 10 minutes late, but by the time we arrived it was already over. The National Park Police broke the whole thing up just a few minutes in, punctuating their lack of a sense of humor by arresting one of the dancers (we’re keeping her name private at least until she’s released later this morning). She was cuffed, taken out to a paddy wagon, then booked and held at a Park Police station. Everyone I spoke with says there was no noise, there were no threats, and no laws broken (the park police I spoke with–including the arresting officer (who, oddly enough, denied to me that he was the arresting officer)–declined to say why she had been arrested).

The police refused to answer any questions, referring all calls to the communication number of the Park Police, which at this hour is closed. They also refused to give their badge numbers.

I’ll post some video tomorrow morning of two flash mobbers who say she was doing nothing at all–she was barely even dancing. Her crime was apparently to ask “why?” when the park police told the group they had to disperse. Note too that this was at around midnight. No one was bumping into tourists, or obstructing anyone’s way. I guess the only conclusion, here, is that it’s apparently illegal to dance on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial–even with headphones. You know, post 9-11 world and all. Harmless fun will be interpreted in the most threatening context imaginable. Whimsy and frivolity will not be tolerated.

Of course, the real irony here is that all of this happened at the Jefferson Memorial, in observance of Jefferson’s birthday. Go out to celebrate the birth of the most hardcore, anti-authoritarian of the Founding Fathers, get hauled off in handcuffs. The photo’s almost poetry, isn’t it? One of history’s most articulate critics of abuse of state authority looks on as a park police cop uses his elbow to push a female arrestee into one of said critic’s memorial pillars.

The people I spoke with say the other officer pictured in the foreground of this photo told the rest of the group to “shut the fuck up.” When one person politely asked why it was unnecessary to use the word “fuck,” the officer replied that if the guy who asked the question used any more profanity, he too would find himself arrested.

More from Julian Sanchez and Megan McArdle.

MORE: Sheesh. If you’re curious as to how we could be at the point where dancing is cause for arrest, read some of the comments at Megan McArdle’s site (link above). I guess an unlawful arrest is fine so long as the arrestee is upper class, privileged, and/or libertarian (because she’s probably a pot-smoker and/or illegal downloader, anyway!).

Friday, April 4, 2008

GW and the Architect

This is a clip from Karl Rove's speech and Q&A session during an event hosted by the GW chapter of the Young America's Foundation in E Street.

Only at GW.