And Over the Bridge From Flushing to the Capitol Hill Door

Give It to The Nanny: Why Drescher Is Better Than Kennedy

So it looks like Irish bootlegging scion Caroline Kennedy might have this New York Senate appointment all wrapped up. If you've been paying attention at all, you know this is a disaster, primarily because the only political thing Caroline Kennedy’s ever done is be conceived by one of America’s most beloved presidents.

With Kennedy as the probable pick, other Senate hopefuls must be dejected, none more than former The Nanny star Fran Drescher, who’d thrown her unlikely hat into the ring early last month. We're a bit disappointed, too. Franny may not have been more qualified than Andrew Cuomo, but she's definitely as, if not more, qualified than Kennedy. Don't believe us? Let us count the ways.

She beat cancer
In 2000, Drescher was diagnosed with uterine cancer, which she eventually overcame and wrote about in her second bestseller Cancer Schmancer. One of the most important problems the government is going to have to address in the coming years is the health care dilemma. Who better to help broach this insanely complicated policy question than someone who’s traversed the Byzantine American medical system herself?

She’s a female celebrity, too
Not that that should matter, but some people are saying that Hillary’s replacement should also be a well-known woman, so we’re just putting it out there.

She's familiar with the criminal justice system
No stranger to hardship, years before she was afflicted by cancer, Drescher was raped at gunpoint in her Los Angeles apartment. Hurt but unwilling to shrink from fear, Drescher pressed charges and eventually saw her attacker go to prison. Despite having a law degree, the never-practicing Caroline Kennedy's not once seen the inside of a courtroom. Drescher, on the other hand, has been in the thick of American criminal justice and could address the system's woes from a fresh perspective.

She's written two books
Not sure why, but Caroline Kennedy mentions the fact that she's written books whenever she's asked about her political qualifications. Fran Drescher's not written as many books as Kennedy, but she's authored two huge hits. So there's that.

She started two nonprofits
After beating cancer, Drescher founded two nonprofit organizations dedicated to helping other women diagnose cancer in stage one, when it is most susceptible to treatment. She's now president of the boards of both, where she works in conjunction with a famous honorary board member you've perhaps heard of: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

She's a born and raised New Yorker
Unlike Caroline Kennedy, who bounced around quite frequently after being born in New York, Fran Drescher was born in Queens and stayed there until her early 20s. After spending some time in LA, Drescher moved back to New York and has been here since. As for Kennedy, although she's now resided in New York for quite some time, she hasn't lived anywhere besides the luxurious Upper East Side, a locale both geographically and financially far away from the real ills of New York. Never trust a New Yorker who's never seen a man shitting in the street.