Dear Jon

Dear Jon,
I have been looking back very seriously upon our relationship and getting a clear idea on what I need and what I want out of a relationship.

During this period of soul searching, I have come to the conclusion that we are just too different in our ability to communicate and because of this, I do not think we can successfully continue this email relationship.

Do you remember that song, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," by Barbara Streisand? Well, Jon, that's how I feel. You don't write me emails anymore. In fact, you don't write any of Copacabana emails anymore. I've reached out to you numerous times, and yet I get nothing in return. At some point, you just need to stop pushing against a brick wall and face the fact that it just won't budge.

I still care deeply for you, but my feelings have been hurt because of this. I feel like I have put so much on the line to bring you into our email world and still I go unnoticed. Dear Jon, how can you not notice me? I'm loud, and from New York, and loud.

But I also have the intelligence to know when I'm not wanted. Obviously I do not mean as much to you as I thought I did. And the rest of Copacabana? Do they mean anything to you? Was this just some foolish little game you've played with our hearts?

I know I am strong and will be able to get over you. I can move on; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I know I can do it. So now I look to the rest of Copacabana and wonder if they have the strength to get over you. The best thing I can do is look to my dear friends in their time of need and offer my strength. I will be strong for them. I will continue to gchat, blog, and email... for them, to help them.

Maybe one day you'll look back on this and realize that you made a mistake. That maybe you just missed out on one of the best things in your life. I don't know how I will feel when that day comes. Maybe I'll welcome you back with open html arms and a smiley face creatively made with punctuation marks. But I might not. Never look back, you know? I don't know how deep this scar you've left behind on my heart will be. It might wane in the future, but I still might look back on this with bitter tears and not give in to your reformation.

I'm not trying to say that I won't accept an apology in the future. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you've really done a number on me and I can't guarantee how open I am to the idea of letting you back in my life after this.

I hate to bring up the idea that there might be someone else. Another email account, another blog, another listserv. I start to ache all over just thinking about that. Oh, dear Jon, I hope it isn't so! And if not for my sake, or for the sake of Copacabana, but for Dylan's sake. Please, think of poor Dylan and what he must think of you leading a double-life. I hope that isn't the case, for Dylan. He needs stability, and I hope that, even without me, you can do that.

I'm finding it entirely too hard to avoid the inevitable and so I have to end this. I'm so sorry Jon, but I have to.

Dear Jon, I hearby affirm that this will be your last email ever as a member of this Google group.

Oh my, I did it. I'm so sorry... but you can't blame a girl with a broken heart.

All my love,
Katie