Arcade Fire, Elevator Edition

I just love this clip of Arcade Fire performing "Neon Bible" in an elevator in Paris. It's a really good song to begin with, but this is just a great rendition of it!

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Dear Jon

Dear Jon,
I have been looking back very seriously upon our relationship and getting a clear idea on what I need and what I want out of a relationship.

During this period of soul searching, I have come to the conclusion that we are just too different in our ability to communicate and because of this, I do not think we can successfully continue this email relationship.

Do you remember that song, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," by Barbara Streisand? Well, Jon, that's how I feel. You don't write me emails anymore. In fact, you don't write any of Copacabana emails anymore. I've reached out to you numerous times, and yet I get nothing in return. At some point, you just need to stop pushing against a brick wall and face the fact that it just won't budge.

I still care deeply for you, but my feelings have been hurt because of this. I feel like I have put so much on the line to bring you into our email world and still I go unnoticed. Dear Jon, how can you not notice me? I'm loud, and from New York, and loud.

But I also have the intelligence to know when I'm not wanted. Obviously I do not mean as much to you as I thought I did. And the rest of Copacabana? Do they mean anything to you? Was this just some foolish little game you've played with our hearts?

I know I am strong and will be able to get over you. I can move on; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I know I can do it. So now I look to the rest of Copacabana and wonder if they have the strength to get over you. The best thing I can do is look to my dear friends in their time of need and offer my strength. I will be strong for them. I will continue to gchat, blog, and email... for them, to help them.

Maybe one day you'll look back on this and realize that you made a mistake. That maybe you just missed out on one of the best things in your life. I don't know how I will feel when that day comes. Maybe I'll welcome you back with open html arms and a smiley face creatively made with punctuation marks. But I might not. Never look back, you know? I don't know how deep this scar you've left behind on my heart will be. It might wane in the future, but I still might look back on this with bitter tears and not give in to your reformation.

I'm not trying to say that I won't accept an apology in the future. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you've really done a number on me and I can't guarantee how open I am to the idea of letting you back in my life after this.

I hate to bring up the idea that there might be someone else. Another email account, another blog, another listserv. I start to ache all over just thinking about that. Oh, dear Jon, I hope it isn't so! And if not for my sake, or for the sake of Copacabana, but for Dylan's sake. Please, think of poor Dylan and what he must think of you leading a double-life. I hope that isn't the case, for Dylan. He needs stability, and I hope that, even without me, you can do that.

I'm finding it entirely too hard to avoid the inevitable and so I have to end this. I'm so sorry Jon, but I have to.

Dear Jon, I hearby affirm that this will be your last email ever as a member of this Google group.

Oh my, I did it. I'm so sorry... but you can't blame a girl with a broken heart.

All my love,
Katie

Validation Via IMDB

Ten brownie points to the first person to name my favorite movie.

Did you get it? If you're answer was "Star Wars," then you're wrong! And it's not "Indiana Jones," either. "Clueless" and "10 Things I Hate About You" are close, but no cigar.

The correct answer? Why don't you check out IMDB's Quote of the Day and figure it out yourself!

Meat of the Moment

I realize that I go through crushes (real life and celebrity, alike) way too quickly for any normal thought-processing mortal to keep up with... even myself, sometimes. So I've decided to give you all a scoop on my latest... Meat of the Moment.

Name: Matt Long
Profession: Actor
Birthdate: May 18, 1980
Height: 5' 9 1/2"
Hometown: Winchester, Kentucky
Education: BA from Western Kentucky University
Marital Status: Lora Chaffins on April 23, 2005*
*With divorce rates what they are in this country, I feel safe in the belief that there may be a somewhat slight possibility that he and the former Ms. Chaffins may find themselves in want of a divorce and, having newly regained his bachelor status, our dear Matt may perhaps meet the Katie of his dreams... resulting in a new Mrs. Long. Who knows, it's just an idea.

Until next time...

Ode To Honest Logic! I'll Drink To That!

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.


There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Careful Santo, They Might Go After Regular FB Stalkers Next

NY Attorney General Subpoenas Facebook

MICHAEL GORMLEY | September 24, 2007 03:43 PM EST |

---

ALBANY, N.Y. — The New York Attorney General has subpoenaed Facebook after the company did not respond to "many" complaints by investigators who were solicited for sex while posing as teenagers on the social-networking site.

State investigators, who set up profiles as 12- to 14-year olds, said they were quickly contacted by other Facebook users with comments such as "u look too hot....... can i c u online," "do you like sex?" and "call me if u want to do sex with me."

Investigators said that when they wrote to Facebook about their experiences, the concerns were ignored "many" times.

"My office is concerned that Facebook's promise of a safe Web site is not consistent with its performance in policing its site and responding to complaints," said Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. "Parents have a right to know what their children will encounter on a Web site that is aggressively marketed as safe."

On Monday, he publicly released a letter to Facebook about its safety claims. Those concerns are based on several "undercover tests" in recent weeks, he said.

The subpoenas seek complaints made to the company and copies of its policies. Cuomo said the investigation is still in its early stages.

Privately held Facebook did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.

OMG, Backstreet's BACK!!!

Oh No He Didn't...

Now I am just as critical as the next girl, but when I read this article posted a few days ago on MSNBC I became quite upset. The article, entitled "Big Fame, Little Talent," referenced seven celebrities lacking the talent to back up their celebrity status. Five people who made that list have no business being there and I find myself a bit befuddled as to why they are. Take a look at the article and then read my commentary at the end... because we all know I have a little something to say about everything.

Celebs with big fame but little talent

These folks are all famous, but do they have the chops to back it up?

COMMENTARY
By Alonso Duralde
MSNBC film critic
Updated: 6:59 p.m. ET Sept 20, 2007

Dane Cook is starring in a new movie. Again. Not letting the fact that he’s not the slightest bit funny get in the way of his career as a comedian, Cook moved on to stinking up multiplexes across the nation with “Employee of the Month” and “Mr. Brooks,” and now he’s back with “Good Luck Chuck” and, before year’s end, “Dan in Real Life.” If you’ve ever watched Cook do stand-up or host “Saturday Night Live,” it’s apparent that his only real talent is in accruing MySpace friends and stating the obvious while making goofy faces.

And yet, somehow, he’s a movie star. But it shouldn’t really be all that surprising. The history of show business is littered with people who achieve the heights of fame without having any real talent whatsoever. (As you read this, Fergie’s album has jumped back into the Top 10.) To find out which celebs least deserve to have magazine covers and their own fragrances, a group of industry insiders, journalists and bloggers were asked to name the least talented famous people. (And since some of them would like to work in this town again, they have been assured anonymity.)

Oh, and one thing to clear up: Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were disqualified, since neither of them really do anything.

Jessica Alba/Jessica Biel/Jessica Simpson
Thank goodness for talented “Arrested Development” co-star Jessica Walter, or the passing of Jessica Tandy might make one think there’s some kind of curse on the name. Alba “made a career out of looking hot in bellyshirts,” sniffs P., a model. “Is she hot? Yes. Is she talented beyond that? No.”

B., a critic and writer, notes that “Biel was interesting for five minutes when she was posing for lad mags and being all, ‘I was on ‘7th Heaven,’ but now I’m naughty!’ But her performance in ‘I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry’ made me want to put popcorn in my ears.”

And then there’s Simpson, whose career highlight was cutely mistaking tuna for chicken. “She is a double threat in that she can neither sing nor act, yet insists on doing both,” according to blogger R.

Adrian Grenier
Consensus indicates that the “Entourage” star is the luckiest little boy in Tinseltown, with phrases like “must have a powerful agent” and “won the lottery” popping up more than once. “All he has to offer is good eyes,” says filmmaker Z.

“If it weren’t for a strong, funny and engaging supporting cast,” declares author H., “Adrian would be flipping burgers and filling napkin dispensers.”

Blogger J. has a problem with Grenier’s role as a hot, rising movie star on the HBO show: “I can’t imagine him carrying all those films his character gets cast in.”

Also having a hard time making that leap is actor T., who observes, “I saw him from behind at the gym once, and I thought he was a chick. I’m no sci-fi nut, but that’s not Aquaman.”

Elton John
Granted, he’s not an actor, but he’s always been the most theatrical of musicians. And his contributions to so many Disney cartoons made him a top vote-getter among those surveyed. “Elton John’s been pumping out the dreck for decades now,” says L., a freelancer and mom who, like all parents, has had to listen to the “Lion King” score more than any human should. “He was better in the ’70s as a drugged-up, frustrated, closeted dude when Bernie Taupin was writing his stuff.”

Model P. isn’t even particularly fond of Sir Elton’s golden years, noting, “Elton John made his career on the creative ideas of others. He was fake glam, ripping off all his ideas from early Roxy Music and Bowie, but watered down to appeal to the U.S. market. And he’s got an annoying voice. Later, he sold out and went the Disney ballads route. Not completely untalented at it, but certainly cheesy in a bad way which is unforgivable, especially from someone who originally claimed to be arty and avant-garde.”

Nicole Kidman
While this writer is a fan of the Australian actress — particularly in lesser-seen films like “Birth” — her name came up with some frequency. “Why is she the new grande-dame of American cinema?” asks writer and editor M. “How in the world did she win an Oscar for her execrable portrayal of Virginia Woolf (in ‘The Hours’)? The only acting that went on by Kidman was with her furrowed brow and her pasted-on nose. Did anyone believe she was actually a writer? By the end of that film, I wanted to put stones in my pocket and walk into the River Ouse.”

“She’s the Madonna of the acting world,” says L., a movie buff and writer. “She’s good at surrounding herself with the right people.”

Carlos Mencia
A top vote-getter — and often paired with the aforementioned Dane Cook — Mencia drew contempt from the survey group for not only being an infamous joke-stealer but also for doing so little with the stolen goods. “Mencia subscribes to the ‘if I scream, it’s funnier’ school,” says actor T., “much like those people in the ‘American Idol’ auditions who think they’re great singers as long as they’re really, really loud.”

Other raves included “the Latino Tom Green,” “a second-rate Dave Chappelle” and “not smart enough to steal the good jokes.”

John Travolta
While everyone agrees he started out great — “he had a hunger back then which was, apparently, actual hunger,” notes one respondent — it’s been a while since the artist formerly known as Tony Manero delivered on his early promise. “Travolta was just awful in ‘Hairspray,’” says M., “which means he’ll probably get an Oscar nomination for the role. He looked frightening, his accent was bizarre, and he couldn’t pull an ounce of emotion from the part. I did like his little dance, but that didn’t make up for the rest of the time I was forced to watch his Mrs. Potato Head face.”

Renee Zellweger
She may have an Oscar, but the “Chicago” star’s facial tics are rubbing lots of moviegoers the wrong way. “If by talent you mean ‘good at making a lip-pursy sourpuss face with annoying squinty eyes regardless of the situation,’ then yeah, she’s brilliant,” rants music producer L.F. “The only place it really worked was ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary,’ but even then it only worked because the character was already a royal pain.”

Filmmaker Z. tempers his qualms about the actress: “To be fair, I like her in character roles, and to her credit, she seeks them out. But as a romantic lead, she’s too much like My First Applehead Doll making out with a hot young dude.”

Or as U., a blogger and critic notes, “Chipmunk is the new black.”

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20895531/

Now let's play a game called, "Guess who shouldn't be on this list!"

• Adrian Grenier- Seriously? Now he was definitely not the most well-known actor when he was cast as Vincent Chase, but then again how many people knew Matt Dillon had a brother or that Jeremy Piven could act without John Cusack nearby? That was kind of the point when "Entourage" first started... cast somewhat unknown, but still talented, actors for an ensemble cast and then let the group do their thing. We all remember the "Miracle" way of doing things: it isn't about getting the best players, it's about getting the right ones.
  
• Elton John- First of all he was knighted, so that's SIR Elton John to you. Second of all, please borrow my "Elton John: Greatest Hits" album and that should pretty much take care of any qualms you may have.
  
• Nicole Kidman- Should I maybe go through her entire film reel? She was nominated for two Oscars in the same year for "Moulin Rouge" and "The Others." She is a triple threat: acting, singing, and dancing. Granted she has made some poor life choices (Tom Cruise and "Bewitched" amongst them), but still she can act and, as Fergie would say, she's g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s.
  
• John Travolta- The jury is still out regarding his performance in "Hairspray," but he's been in more than enough films to justify all of his bad ones. The article mentions "Saturday Night Fever," but it fails to mention one of his finest: "Pulp Fiction." And despite his recent weight gain, he's also still married to Kelly Preston... a total hottie, so put that in your box and shake it.
  
• Renee Zellweger- Yes she does that slightly annoying pursed lip, furrowed brow, chipmunk thing, but at least she can act. Oh, she also sings and dances. Just like our girl Nicole, she is a triple threat... and she's not afraid to put on weight for a role, although she sometimes gets a bit overzealous with losing it afterwards. Also, she was in a couple of classics that you may or may not remember... "Reality Bites" and "Dazed and Confused."

So basically, this Alonso Duralde needs to go back and check his notes as I am finding myself unable to concur.

File Under: Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

Imagine you're the director of Department of Housing and Urban Development. This has definitely been a rough time for you and HUD, hasn't it? I agree and I send you my sympathies. But I have a quick question for you... which is more fiscally responsible: spending $100,000 to invest in affordable housing in the New Orleans region for victims of Hurricane Katrina or spending that same $100,000 on paintings of the five most recent HUD directors? Wow, I should have known that you would have picked the paintings! By the way, can anyone really name the five most recent HUD directors? Didn't think so. Shame on you, Alphonso Jackson.

5 HUD Portraits, 1 Tight Deadline

By Mary Ann Akers
washingtonpost.com Staff Writer
Tuesday, September 18, 2007; A17

The nation's housing industry is in a free fall from the subprime mortgage crisis. The budget of the Department of Housing and Urban Development could be facing big cuts. And the agency is still struggling to respond to a slew of natural disasters, including Hurricane Katrina.

But hey, that's not stopping HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson from tackling another big priority: getting his official portrait painted -- and pronto.

The agency has awarded what it says is a $100,000 contract to an artist in the New York area to complete not just Jackson's portrait but also those of the four most recent past HUD secretaries -- Mel Martinez, Andrew Cuomo, Henry Cisneros and Jack Kemp -- all in about eight weeks. The due date for all five portraits, which has already slipped once, is now Oct. 15.

How will one mortal artist possibly meet the deadline? "By never leaving my studio," jokes the lucky winner of the HUD portrait sweepstakes contract, artist Daniel Mark Duffy.

Speaking between strokes from his studio in Newtown, Conn., Duffy said department officials gave him no indication of why they want the portraits completed so quickly. They just sent him photos of all five subjects and basically told him to get painting. Asked what he thought of the unusually tight deadline, he said, "It's extreme."

Typically, he said, it takes him "at least a month" or about 100 hours of studio time to paint a portrait from a photograph. Of course, he'd rather the HUD secretaries had sat for their portraits so "we could have had a fully realized interaction."

According to the schedule put forth in the contract solicitation the initial sketch of each portrait was due "no later than three weeks after award date." HUD will then "endeavor to complete review and approval within five calendar days." The completed portraits are due "no later than three weeks after initial sketch approval." If those are approved, then the final framed portraits are due to the HUD program office "no later than seven days after approval."

Needless to say, Duffy is painting as fast as he can. "I've already finished Cuomo and Cisneros," the artist said. "I'm painting Jackson at the moment." Kemp is next.

The only challenge he anticipates? All the wet surfaces. This is oil, after all, he says, "and oil paintings don't ever fully dry." Therefore, Duffy will drive the portraits down to Washington himself rather than shipping them.

HUD spokesman Jerry Brown says Secretary Jackson's portrait will be hung on the wall of the new auditorium at HUD, which is still under construction, after he leaves office, "which he has no plans to do."

According to Brown, the last HUD secretary to have an official portrait painted and hung at the agency was Samuel "Silent Sam" Pierce, whose eight-year tenure triggered a behemoth independent counsel investigation into widespread corruption at HUD -- focusing on charges that the agency under Pierce's stewardship played political favoritism in awarding contracts.

Let's hope for Jackson's sake that reinstituting the portrait tradition isn't an omen -- Jackson came under fire last year for admitting that he urged the staff to favor political pals of President Bush when awarding HUD contracts.

Duffy, who said he is a political independent, said he had "no idea" how he was awarded his $100,000 contract.

You're So Gourmet And You Don't Even Know It

First, let me thank Lady Lindsey for introducing me to Aaron Karo, recovering frat boy. Not that I have a problem with current frat boys, but that is just is current position in life. Oh, and he's a comedian... and publishes this really funny newsletter called "Ruminations" which is now in it's tenth year. Here are some highlights from one his special 10th Anniversary emails featuring a glossary of some of his most well-known terms...

-“Appetizer Russian Roulette”
When you’re ordering first and you’re not sure whether to gamble and get an appetizer – thus risking sitting there eating while the other person is not. [#47, 2003]

-“Bloodbath”
An event of epic drunken debauchery, as in, “Dude, New Year’s Eve is gonna be a fucking bloodbath!” See also “DBD” and “Match Day.” [#83, 2005]

-“Booty Call Button”
The feature on my old Nokia that let me quickly turn off my outgoing Caller ID, thus blocking my identity from being revealed in the missed call logs of chicks I tried to hit up at 4am but who didn’t pick up. [#35, 2002]

-“The Code of AFS”
AFS stands for Anything For a Story. All guys operate implicitly under the Code of AFS, which requires them, while hooking up, to try do something weird or outrageous just so they can tell their friends about it later. See also “Total Recall.” [#96, 2006]

-“DBD”
Stands for Don’t Be Dumb. Traditionally, I write the acronym DBD in black Sharpie on the back of my left hand before any night of drinking I predict will turn into a total bloodbath. This is meant to remind me during moments of severe inebriation not to do or say anything stupid. Has almost never worked. [#98, 2006]

-“Drive of Shame”
A variation on the walk of shame in which you have to awkwardly drive the other person home in the morning. [#103, 2006]

-“Fredding”
A wedding where many of the male guests are frat brothers of the groom (derived from the words “fraternity” plus “wedding”). Freddings often involve a lot more drinking and the occasional tuxedo-clad human pyramid. [#69, 2005]

-“The Get-Out-Of-Life-Free Card”
When your completely directionless friend who has never before expressed any interest in studying law but really doesn’t want to get a job all of a sudden decides to take the LSATs. [#34, 2002]

-“Gourmet”
Originally coined at Penn by me and my buddy Roby while we were pledging together in the spring of 1998. Used as a synonym for “dope,” as in, “Check out that chick by the bar, she’s gourmet!” After I first introduced the term in Ruminations, I was thrilled when fans wrote me to say they were trying to inject it into conversation as much as possible. Now, whenever I hear someone describe a girl or a new pair of sneakers as gourmet, I think back to Roby and I as pledges sitting around in our own filth. Which is totally not gourmet. [#52, 2004]

-“Halloween Walk of Shame”
When you hook up on Halloween and then have to stumble home the next morning wearing your costume. [#35, 2002]

-“Hide-the-Beer Day”
The day before Family Weekend in college that you spend emptying the alcohol out of your fridge, throwing out all the empties on your coffee table, and taking down all the pictures of you drunk off your ass from the wall. [#3, 1997]

-“Laying Groundwork’
Initiating contact with a girl via email or text message approximately one week before you are likely to see each other, thereby making it seem like you aren’t all of a sudden calling her out of the blue to try to hook up once you get in to town. [#96, 2006]

-“Look for the Ring”
The act of looking at the hand of the chick you’re hitting on see if she’s wearing an engagement or wedding ring. Doing this never even occurs to most guys until they’re about twenty-four and accidentally hit on a married chick for the first time. [#34, 2002]

-“Match Day”
Annual event in March when fourth-year med students find out where they “match” – i.e. where in the country they will be spending the next five years of their lives as residents. After matching, said med students go out and get obliterated. In 2005, Match Day fell on both the first day of the NCAA tournament and St. Patrick’s Day, making it an absolute bloodbath for newly minted doctors. [#66, 2005]

-“RDI”
Stands for Random Drunken Injury. Occurs when you get fucked up, hurt yourself, and then the next day have no idea why you have a sprained ankle. [#48, 2003]

-“Refill Limbo”
Occurs when you’re having casual drinks with friends, they order another round from the waitress, but you still have 3/7 of your beer remaining and are momentarily unable to decide whether to order or pass. [#44, 2003]

-“The SAT Bet”
In our junior year of high school, my friend Eric bet Brian that he could not break 1400 on the SATs. Brian ending up getting exactly 1400. Eric subsequently claimed that getting 1400 is technically not “breaking 1400” and that a 1410 was needed to win the bet. Brian argues that scoring a 1400 is synonymous with breaking 1400. Personally, I agree with Brian, but almost twelve years later the argument continues and neither side has paid up. [#36, 2002]

-“Sexual Loitering”
When your one-night stand does not leave promptly the next morning. [#67, 2005]

-“Total Recall”
My theory that guys get more pleasure from remembering, telling, and re-telling the story of a crazy hook-up (under the Code of AFS) than they do from the actual hook-up itself. Derived from the plot of the movie Total Recall. [#59, 2004]

-“Wasted Happy Hour Chick”
Girl who comes straight from work to the bar and is still there at midnight even though her colleagues are all gone, she’s lost a shoe, and she’s been carrying around her laptop bag for seven hours. Easy prey and can usually be found dancing wildly by herself in the corner. [#66, 2005]